Yes, I saw John Carter. I did not want to see this movie. I thought I never would see this movie. But I did. I don’t know what had the worse effect, the large popcorn and Reese’s Pieces on my stomach, or this film on my eyes and brain.
John Carter was extraordinarily bad. Never mind the senseless bells and whistles of the special effects. It was the lack of storytelling skills and execution that led me to detest this monstrosity.
The premise of the film: an American Civil War veteran finds himself on Mars caught in the middle of a civil war between two co-inhabitants of the red planet. Somewhere in there is a love story.
This is the second big action flick in a row when after it was all over, I found myself stringing together a loose story in my mind based on scenes haphazardly assembled together. The first was Captain America. In both there was no flow to the action and none of the choices by the characters made any sense.
In John Carter the dialogue was disjointed and didn’t follow any consistent motivations for the characters, although there wasn’t much logic to the characters to begin with. It was one set piece after another with a complete lack of depth to anyone or anything. Makes me wonder what I could do with $250 million.
