Rams and Redskins Wheel and Deal

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I can finally exhale. As a life-long Skins1 fan I have endured a parade of hapless and witless signal-callers since the championships of Williams and Rypien, to wit:

  • Heath Shuler
  • John “Deep” Friesz
  • Gus “The Frozen Ferret” Frerotte
  • Jeff Hostetler
  • Trent Green
  • Brad “I Can’t Believe My Enormous Head Fits In My Helmet” Johnson
  • Jeff George
  • Tony Banks (?)
  • Shane Matthews (?)
  • Patrick Ramsey
  • Danny Wuerffel
  • Little Timmy Hasselbeck
  • Mark Brunell
  • J-Camp
  • Todd Collins
  • McNeezy
  • Sexy Rexy
  • John Motherfucking Beck

Every year I tell anyone who will listen that the Skins are at least three years away from being any good. Because we sure as shit weren’t going to stumble on a savior in free-agency and you have to give a rookie a few years to get it together. And now, somehow, I can exhale. Somehow our bonehead organization is going to get RG3 or Andrew Luck. The irony of course is that we could have had the #2 pick scot free if we weren’t so competent in the 2011 regular season. Our 5-11 record was pretty bad, but not bad enough. If only we had lost three more games! And I’ll tell you which ones. Somehow we beat the Super Bowl Champion NY Giants not once but TWICE! And then we beat the Rams IN ST LOUIS! Turn those three games around and we don’t give up a fucking thing for our franchise QB.

But I digress. Knowing VERY little about the St. Louis Rams, this has got to be a win-win. The Rams get a couple extra picks in the years to come to help them rebuild. In this draft they only trade down four spots and can probably still pick up one of their top targets, as well the Skins’ 2nd round pick. The Skins give up some valuable draft picks, which is bad, but here’s the rub – they were going to cock those picks up anyway. Over the past ten years there have been a TOTAL of six Pro Bowl appearances for home-grown Skins (two each for Chris Cooley, Sean Taylor, and Brian Orakpo). Minimizing the number of hurdles the “braintrust” has to clear on draft night is a pretty solid strategy.

Skins fans, enjoy the next five months. Anything is possible. Hopefully in a good way.

  1. “Redskins” is an indefensible mascot. I have a few Skins shirts but I’m usually too embarrassed to wear them in public. There is an epic battle within me between the joys and traditions of my youth and the intellectual pragmatist I have become. My compromise is to refer to them as the “Skins”, which softens the blow a bit, but in no way excuses an epithet for people that have suffered unnumerable calamities at the hands of whites.

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